for this gift of happy spirits - thank you

day two of being thankful - definitely not doing it the 30 days till thanksgiving conventional way. i have not even intentionally set out to do such, but my mind has come to a second thing to be thankful for. this week my general spirits, attitude, happiness and well being has been undepressed. i am convinced that i have a personality whose disposition is depressed more than it is happy go lucky. sometimes i wish this was not true. it seems as if my life continuous in the cycle it has gone through so far in my short life, i may spend half of it in a depressed state. however, who am i to judge the future? i have experienced first hand the pits of some depression. but i have also experienced first hand the flying high feeling of coming out of the pit. the Lord's patience, mercy, grace, perspective, control and all of His being which is so steadfast has been the victor each time.

i was walking around yesterday and it hit me, that i am not in a depressed state of being now.

i cannot understand why not except that my mind i guess is finally being reared to dwell on things above and not things below - to finally dwell on Christ who is my life. if anyone dwells on Christ who is in Christ, there is no response but joy. i am thankful to God for continuing to fashion my heart so that its disposition is towards joy and satisfaction in Him alone.

"work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure." Philippians 2:12

"wretched man that i am! who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Romans 7:24-25a

even in this state of mind - thank you

I keep seeing people posting different things they are thankful for in light of this Thanksgiving Season. A good idea? Yes, because it makes you intentionally have that attitude of gratitude. (a warning to not be grateful for those things but be purposeful to be thankful to God who is the Giver of all.)

Something in me (stubbornness) makes me not want to take part in the 30 day postings of thanks. How pathetic is my heart to make any excuse not to be thankful?

Pride and laziness often go hand in hand and its nasty.

Perhaps there is some hope for me though because just now I decided to post on being grateful for a bad attitude. This might sound like an oxymoronic thought. (and i will not try to prove that i am not often on the more moronic side) However, hear me out.

Having a bad attitude is toxic. Toxic to the very producer of its poison as well as to anyone who is in the rang of its outpourings. (another thing to be thankful for just now - i'm alone so no one is unnecessarily the target.) But the opportunity to be shown one's pathetic state of mind is yet another state that can be graciously forgiven and taught by our Patient God. It is another way to see our need to be dependent on God for even our very thoughts. Without the Spirit's workings within me I would go off in my head, cultivating my dirty heart, and spewing out asterisks with my tongue. But the Spirit has not left me to myself (there are no words to Praise God enough for this truth). Therefore, I am even thankful for bad attitudes because of how the Spirit slaps me silly to fall once again on my face before God Almighty and grow greater in dependence on Him. Why I ever try to fix myself by myself is beyond moronic.

Lord, forgive me for my bad attitude. Forgive me for not being grateful and instead nit picking at the things that push my buttons. Get rid of my buttons Lord and make me a continuous praise chorus. This attitude Lord, does not control me because of Your indwelling Spirit. Thank You for giving me the victory over even this state of mind! Thank You for showing me how to be grateful even now. In Jesus Name who is the author and perfecter of life, even in me, Amen.

(another warning: do not let Satan deceive you into thinking your day has been ruined or labeled as a "bad day" when your attitude has a strong stench. do not let him win, because he is the loser. fight the battle because Christ has already won through the gospel. put on therefore that very power.)