Distracted.

The bird doesn't even mock me outside my window anymore.
He must have met his mate and is no longer distracted.
I kind of miss him singing outside my window at 1 in the morning.

I'm not going to act like I've tapped into some amazing truth recently.
I haven't been in the Word regularly. I'm an all or nothing type personality
which is mostly a weakness. Some people struggle with having a meaningful
devotion even if they have the time and discipline of doing it everyday down.
I have the struggle of doing it when I know my mind is not in it. I only expect
the best when I study the Bible. But my weakness comes in because I only expect
the best when I'm my best which is a foolish concept.
Is it bad that my own mind is my biggest distraction?
I suppose that makes sense. Whether we are made of mind, body, soul, or just a brain and a heart or whatever philosophical view you think is most logical - its all connected. So if my mind and heart are not in it then I'm distracted. But to have a low expectation when I'm not at my best is completly foolish. I'm an imbecile when it comes to relying on my own state being in control. It takes part in what I need God to fix, but is arrogant of me to think that nothing great can happen when I'm weak. Does God not delight in a broken and contrite spirit simply because we are the most moldable when we bring nothing to offer? Our pride is something to offer over to be killed but not that brings Him glory otherwise.

Sometimes I think I have no talents because I'm to prideful with them.
Its like there taken away so that I can be distracted only by God.
God. What are You up to?

"Like the appearance of the bow that is in the cloud on the day of rain, so was the appearance of the brightness all around. Such was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD. And when I saw it, I fell on my face, and I heard the voice of one speaking." Ez. 1:28
I'm waiting for the voice part.

"And I, when I came to you, brotheres, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God."
1 Cor. 2:1-4
I wonder what Paul thought about this before he wrote it.
Its like I know nothing - so that I can know Christ - so that others worship Him.
God - obviously I need to pray more.

"My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him." Psalm 62:85